A reminder: we have been abused

I frequently get letters from across the world from people who have just realised  they have been scammed.  These letters often talk about the shame and guilt that they have once they realised they have been scammed. How do I reply to them? I know they write to me because they must tell their story to someone, to make sense of it for themselves, and they know I will understand.

A recent writer said

I have been sending money to woman in ..[deleted for privacy].. for ..[deleted for privacy]… I am not stupid, and I realised that this could not be the real thing, but I continued to write to her. I denied the obvious for so long time. I feel ashamed of my self. I now delete all “her” e mails, but I still feel afraid and guilt.

'Shame' from The History of Emotions Blog
‘Shame’ from The History of Emotions Blog

It is a challenge to know what to write to people in this situation.  I have been there too, wondering if it is a scam, denying to myself that it is, wanting the dream that is promised so badly.  But I have had a long time thinking (and writing) about it since.

I wrote back to him Continue reading A reminder: we have been abused

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